SANS THE BED OF ROSES...

A bed of roses spread on the green earth- the blue sky embellised with the jewels of the night and a soft breeze humming my favorite tune- gently, I fall asleep and smiling to myself as I do so; yet aware of the new dawn that lies ahead of me: a dawn that would take me away from all the luxuries that I had been enjoying so lavishly. And yet, I wanted to see this dawn; wanted it to come soon and deprive me of my luxuries,wanted to so desparately that my bed of roses failed to put me into the instant sleep as it usually does!
But why would I want it to come? Why would anyone ever want to deprive oneself of all the luxuries of life? The reason was simple. I wanted to see myself without my privileges. I wanted to see, how I would be if I weren't allowed what I had been enjoying in the past. Wanted to be like some my friends in my college- who were like me before they faced the "dawn"; but were full of praises for it, which was so tempting that I wanted to try it out as soon as possible and I was ready to pay the price!
As it came near, my curiosity was enroused. I was excited, nervous but happy all at once. But soon, I reached my new world- sans the bed of roses, sans the green earth and blue sky; but a world entrapped inside the pale blue walls that starts with a door of cheap wood without even a proper lock and ended with a rusted nail on the other side of that tiny room. All that the room could hold were three beds, placed so close to each other and yet there was no space to walk inside that room. An open shelf to "guard" my precious possessions- two windows that allowed the light from outside even during night time; a light without light and a fan with a broken regulator!
I was on my own. And this was what I had ever wanted.And if a broken regulator and some broken cot was the price that I was asked to pay for it- I was ready to pay it! But was I happy? Ofcourse yes! But this was a totally different kind of happiness. A happiness that came from finding myself in a situation where I had never been placed before and finding myself coping up with it. May be at a small level, but I was feeling as happy as a toddler as he tries and succeeds in taking his first step without his mother. I was as happy as a plant that tastes the first rain of the year. And as happy as a starving dog who gets his first piece of bone!
It was nearly two weeks since I had changed my world.Did I miss my world? Yes. So I hated my new world? Ofcourse not! But yes, I would surely like to go back to where I came from. But will I miss this world? Well, yes and no. Yes, for it taught me so many things that I had no chance of learning in my world- like to wash my clothes, adjust to a bad food, compromise with the not-so-good people around me, manage my time to suit my schedulde, and not to let go Mr. Gandhi unless he wanted to leave me. No, simply because, it wasn't my world, and I was very happy with mine that I do not need this one- not that I would forget my lessons; for they were chapters on survival which were vital- not just for me, but for everyone.
And so I am back into my world- my home; am happy and full of memories of my room, my bed, my account book and my life, at the hostel!

MY TABLE

My table was literally invisible. Hidden beneath a pile of books, trash, pens and other useless/useful stationary, it had remained that way for the past three years!
It was the day before I joined "college"; I cleaned my table with all joy and care, pasted nice posters around my walls; it was all so neat!
I could hardly enter my room. Something had to be done. My table, which had been so pretty, and so neat, was now covered with dust, trash, cobwebs- all beauty gone! My brain was imagining things as if my table had started to talk-

"... Oh! weary mistress,

stop for a while!

Remember what I had done for you..

Help me look fine

Help me look pretty

And see, what I can be for you.."

Now, I had to stop this. It can't go on like this.

Sunday. Three separate piles were tagged- "To be thrown", "To be packed", "To be rearranged".

I had, finally, cleaned my table! It looked perfect- so pretty, so clean, so beautiful! I had spent the whole day cleaning it-

".. I salute thee, my mistress-

For you'd freed me of my burden-

You are kind

You are sweet

And for that, I shall greet;

Trust me of my service,

for I shall do it with all might..

And you shall have no regrets

I'll make sure of that, all right.."!

It was nearly night time when I had finally finished giving all my "final touches" to my table. I was so tired. I picked up the three "tagged" bundles and kept them over my table.

It was one week since I had cleaned my table. It is, literally, invisible...

ROAD TO CREATIVITY

The paper was blank and my pen had stopped moving. I remained staring at the paper. I had shut myself in my room and had my eyes closed; browsing through my brain- what to write? I needed to write something- but what to write?

Should I write about nature or sky- or the moon, or the stars? But these were things that I never found time to admire! Or about love or hate? But, for me, these were games by time, the supreme truth- they need no words to be wasted on! What do I write then? I needed to write something- but what?

I opened my eyes- I came out of my room and saw new words on my paper! I had indeed written something!

Words can never be forced; nor can they be compelled. They come out from nothing and go into nowhere. So all you'll need to do is to open your mind- come out of virtual boundaries! And you shall find yourself floating away- into an endless paradise called- Creativity!

ENCLOCKED

The press on the keys-

and the click on the mouse

The tick of the clock-

and the silence of the house

Brings out from nowhere

the shadows of the past

of the rain, of the breeze,

And smiles, I smiled the last!

The albums in my heart

Turn their pages, so old

Smiles on the faces- known, unknown

warm up my heart- void and cold!

Wish I could pause

and go back to the start

But the clock shan't unclock

And I needed to part..

The press on the keys..

The click on the mouse..

LET HIM SLEEP

Let him sleep

wake him not

let him sleep for once

let him smile

let him dream

let him sleep for once.

It's a cruel world

that awaits his benign grin

that awaits his cry and tears

let him sleep

wake him not

let him sleep for once.

A deadly ambush of a life

awaits his struggle to live

it hungers for his sweat

and hungers for his toil

let him sleep for once.

He sleeps in a world

where smiles are real

and words spoken are meant

sans guile, sans sleight

Hence, let him sleep for once.

The leering world-

doesn't deserve his sweat

his blood, his brains or his life

let him sleep

wake him not

let him rest his nimble limbs

let him smile

let him dream

let him sleep, for once.

TAGGED!!!!

First of all.. thnk u for tagging me vrinda! and now..



The RULES:



1. Post these rules

2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves

3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts

4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named

5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged





The me-



(1) I have never learned to close my mouth. I can go on for an entire day non-stop!



(2) I love smiling and I like seeing happy faces around me. Also, I like motivating people around me.



(3) I sometimes find myself doing wrong things right and right things at the wrong time!



(4) I dont like people who say things to me which they think, I think.



(5) I get provoked very quickly, which is very bad and I don't stop voicing out my views! This often places me in awkward situations but i have always managed to turn these situations pleasant!



(6) There are many things without which I cannnot survive! For example, books, music, pen, scrapbook, bathroom, tooth brush, etc.



(7) I sing extremely well in my bathroom! Trust me- if there's going to be any reality show in future.. say "BATHROOM IDOL".. then I'll be THE Star!



(8) I hate Karan Johar and Ekta Kapoor!





so.. now I tag-



Karthik



Aishwarya



Pallavi



Parul



Nithya



Priya



Anonymous



Anonymous

A LIFE WITHOUT POTTER

The wait was, finally over. As i was nearing the final page of the book, I dearly wished that the book would never end. And I'm sure that most others, of my ilk, across the world, would have felt the sameway too! After I finished the book, I was looking at it's cover, for a very long time. The knock on my door, the fan above my head, the bed beneath me, the phone that rang- they all seemed to tear me apart and I felt as though I was plunging back into a deep, cold and a never-ending tunnel of reality!

The wait, was indeed over! It was quite sometime later that day, that I realised something- Harry Pooter books, had been my only passion in life. I grew up listening to stories from my granny and dad. I grew up watching "Alif Laila" and "The Jungle Book" in Doordharshan. All that,had come to an abrupt end- due to reasons I do not remember. The life looked listless and I was going on in life without taking one glimpse of the life that I had left behind, when, I quite accidentally, happened to read, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Once I finished it, I went for the next, and then the next. And that's how it was till the end- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! I liked the wait. I liked the way it made me feel when I looked at it's cover. And every time, it was just the same- a journey, an expedition into a whole new world- A magical world of witches and wizards, love and war, unicorns and centaurs, the good and the bad!

Who would've thought that the world would just fall in love with someone so evil, yet with a style- Severus Snape, else, shall we say it with all respect, The Half-Bood Prince? Who would've thought that the world would, one day cry for a soul, that was, after all free- Dobby! Who would've thought that a mere book was going to be so much a part of their lives, that they would go wishing that the book would never end? Will you still call it a "Childrens' Literature"?

But it's now over. There is not going to be any more Harry Potter. Or is it? May be, there's indeed some Harry Potter or Hermione Granger or Ronald Weasley out there- reading this very article, secretly smiling and thanking us all- Muggles!

RAJANIGANDHA

It was raining. I liked to see the rain fight with the window pane. But the glass always seemed to win. He used to sit beside me and watch me looking at the war. He used to say, "Why do u think that it is a war"? I would reply, "But that's what it is, isn't it"? He would say, "I don't think so. I think that the rain is a prince, madly in love with you. And the wicked window is blocking his way"! And he would open the window.

Every morning, he would stand in front of my bed, smiling at me- with a bunch of Rajanigandha. He would tell me, "Feel the flower. For when you feel it, the flower becomes you". I never understood what he meant by that. But Rajanigandha had been my favourite flower, since then.

He would hold my hand as we walked into the woods. I would try to talk something but he would stop me. He used to say, " The trees are telling me their secrets. You can hear them too. Just listen". But I never heard anything.

He had loved me all his life as I had loved him. He always had strange pronouncements to make, about things, as normal as the rising sun. But one day, I saw him, lying still, yet smiling- covered in white linen and Rajanigandha all around him.

But since that day, I had felt him in every drop of rain that fell on me and in every tree that I came across. I had felt him in the fragrance of the Rajanigandha.

Love you, Grandpa!

PRECARIOUS SURVIVAL

I SALUTE THEE..

an event-
a completion that is final
befalls on all
and cannot be evaded
a might that commands fear in all
yet respect from those brave few
humility, that prevents praise
a force that drives one to be humble
glamour, that fails to attract
but kindles retort in most
power, that comes from confidence
that it is bound to occur, but once
true, and as pure as an infant's cry
and it means no harm to the chosen one.
i salute thee- death
a certainity, in it's purest form
an event-
to be remembered
and cherished for all eternity!

A DEDICATION

i never celebrate my birth day for i believe that, there is nothing
to celebrate in being born into this world. i had never felt the
day; it had always been just another day for me. today, may 12, on my "birthday"-
i came back home after giving my exam. my mom was waiting at the doors with a smile. some time later, she said quite suddenly to me, " so you'll be 20 from now on, right"?

i was born. i went to school. i studied. i wrote exams. i passed them
alright! i go to a college. i study. i write exams. i pass them alright!

so, what exactly have i achieved in all these years? Nothing!

i was sitting in my room, looking at the walls. i saw a photo of mine-
with my friends and there was another photo of me, with my parents.

i may not be a very good daughter, for i do not obey my parents, i trouble them a lot, i sometimes don't care about them, but i had made them happy- for reasons unknown. whatever i am to them, i make them happy.

my friends like my presence. i make them happy. they laugh with me,
they cry with me, they walk with me- as i do with them.

i am twenty now. and i dedicate this birthday of mine to my parents
and to all my friends. they are all that i ve earned till now. they are all that i have!
to you- mom and dad!
to you all- my friends!
PEACE.

LET US SEE

Unnamed allies cryout aloud
their sands, moist, yet hot
bloody foam whizzing throughout
in grave silence, gloriously aloud- that
rang throughout those anonymous lands
"Give us a name",
they plea, they crave.
Unnamed bones cryout aloud
their flesh, stale, yet soft
bloody foam whizzing throughout
in grave silence, gloriously aloud- that
rang throughout those piles of bones
"Give us justice",
they plea, they crave.
their cries were in vain
it caused them nothing, but pain
yet, they remain,
to see the animals walk free
to see them hunt, to see them kill
to see them smile on their agony.
to see is why they were born;
to see is what they must do.
let them see-
as the Earth sees and the skies
as the waters see and the air
Let us see
for-
To see is why were were born;
To see is what we must do.

THE QUESTION PAPER

All world's an exam hall
and all men and women merely questions
they have choices and answers
and one man, i his life faces many questions
his life being the question paper!

que 1: by the infant?

why am i so small when all the others are so big?i mean, it's ok, they carry me and all. but why do they have to saythings like.."diddy jeeju..".."dju ywu waunt momma to feedj djyuu??"i mean, they talk quite alright when they talk to each other.. oh look..there it goes.. why is she taking such a long time to get me my diapers?"MOM..." of course, she doesnt understand! "waaa... waa... booooo..."

que 2: by theWhining school boy?

.. and she gets paid for just asking questions that we can't answer!and why does he have to reduce marks for handwriting? i mean.. i can understand..it says.. well.. it says something.. atleast! mom is so nice.. why can't dad be the same too? oh.. alright.. i leaver the class.. oh no.. and why does this principal has to come aroundonly when i am being sent out?... "aah.. ouch.. sorry sir.."

que 3: by the lover?

why cant she spend for a change? ok.. she need not spend.. i mean she can atleast eat less..no.. order less... "yeah?.. what day is tomorrow? ..hmm.. thursday?..oh.. sorry..hmm.." now what the hell of a day is tomorrow? "yeah.. yeah.. i am thinking...".. don't tell meit's u'r birthday.. i just spent all my savings last week over u'r perfume.. "honey.. please..""what? chintu's birthday? and you want a party? ....u want a party for u'r dog's birthday"?

que 4: by the soldier?

why cant this bloke just shut up? now the other one has started too... and here comesthe orders..."yes sir"!

que 5: by the justice?

".. yes.. u wnat me to sign?.. ok.." why cant these people do this without me? i hope he has the same lunch as yeterday..mmm... and this phone... "yes? u'r mom is coming? why"?

que 6: by the pantaloon?

brats... they keep getting smaller each day.. why cant they just sit and watch TV? there goes my stick.. " give it back.. this instant.." midjets!

que 7: by the second childhood?

?? ??? ???? ?????? ???????


-----------------------THE END-----------------------------

MIND'S JOURNEY

The lands and the skies
both seem alike
with no turns nor bends parting ways
the sands and the waters
affect me alike
their heat and chill into the same chase
there is no destination
nor is there a journey
and no one to travel with me
yet, i walk into those endless roads
through sands, waters and rocks
with no one, but hope, in me.
there is no air
nor is there any life
and no one to survive, but me
the words keep flowing
in no proper format
i know not how to stop them
i can't stop writing
as i can't stop thinking
so i wouldn't stop here, but pause!

HUMAN

Head held high
with a humble pride
Eyes, that saw nothing
beyond the roads ahead
Hands that could create
and only create
Legs that would never turn
into those wrong lanes
Flesh that grew younger
with every breeze and storm- alike
Words, spoken when necessary
with love and care for all
He might walk upon this Earth
like you, me and all
There's nothing beyond Human
and He lies within every heart
Nothing is immortal, nor divine
There's nothing beyond Human
So, let's be Him, for a while.

WITH SLEEP....

As silent as a thief
she crawls behind me
and possesses me with glee
Off i fly-
to the worlds unknown
radiant, beautiful and unforeseen
All that i liked,
were spread before my sight
tempting, lustful and bright
I roam around-
in those lonely lanes
pleasant, peaceful and wide
With no sense of time
or days, months or years
i run, jump and play
Startled i was
to hear an unearthly beep
loud, severe and rude
There it ends
my few moments with sleep
abrupt, vaccant yet honest
But soon i'd be back
into that young familiar world
now, now and now...

! BLAH - BLAH !

hjfg weu dfju fhd
and i change the way it looked
lkj oie cxkj dfo;
now what do u see, hmm?
it makes no sense to me-
it makes no sense at all
yet-
for those hunters of the gibberish-
it reveals thought- sensible and deep!
u need a vision-
they say,
u need the taste-
they boast!
but all i see is a crystal truth
that makes perfect sense to me!
my truth is not what they seek
nor they seek my wisdom;
they seek a rubbish
that tags them as bright
a scholar, a thinker;
clever and shrewd!
in you come- you gibberish-hunters
for i dedicate this work to you
curse me not, nor do praise me
for both could target, only you!

PICTURE PERFECT

They smile, they laugh
They are happy and gay
They are rich, "they are good",
Or so the others say!

Their smiles may hide a thousand secrets
Their laughs may veil their sins
Yet, they live and be happy
Or, so the others say!

HOLY CRAP

Why do we do what we do,
Why do we need to do it?
What should be done and what not,
And who should be made to do it?
Not all questions have answers,
Neither do all answers have questions
Not all people ask questions-
Yet I never cease to ask them,
That is all I do,
That is all I do...

ENCASED...

Caged, yet hopeful
He fluttered around the walls
crying and calling out for help.
He was pitied, he was cared for-
Yet no hand would break him free;
still, with hope, he carried on-
"Not today, perhaps.."
The day dawned-
The walls were broken
And the cage, blasted to dust and smoke-
He fluttered on,
Around imaginary boundaries;
crying and calling out-
"Help me fly away..anyone..."

VEIL

Soft muslin, light and tender
The breeze playing with it
Hides the rosy lips and dimple chin
And the emotions that lie within.
Days roll on, years pass by-
There's no muslin and no breeze;
Yet, it's those rosy lips and dimple chin
That hide emotions, deep within!

WHERE IS BEAUTY?

Beauty lies-
In those hands- tiny, yet strong;
wailing and crying out for help
wrapped in those dirty pieces of cloth-
left out to rot inside trash
with vegetable and faecal matter-
In those hands- in that cry.

Beauty lies-
In those eyes, shrunk due to tears;
clothes- that hid almost nothing
hands that tried to hide bruises
vaccant eyes, lost in search of help
A body that failed to work
In those eyes- in those tears.

Beauty lies-
In those silver hairs, soft and dry;
wrinkles that ornamented the skin
eyes that tried to recognise things
And awaited the moment of eternal peace;
cherishing her breath till her last inhalation-
In her thoughts- in her pain.

THE BIG DECISION

Everyone, for once in their life has to make one decision, from which there is no escape! That is, about their future. About what they wish to become; how one is going to carry on...And everybody makes that one decision, for sure.Even that person, who says, that he has left his future to "God's goodwill", has made that decision, hasn't he?

Well, this essay, is not about any decision-making techniques. Nor is it about my great plans for my future. This essay is about my experience in making that decision, rather.

Mind you, I am not a "responsible" type of a girl. I never cared about anything, not that I do now! But definitely, I'm now, loads better than what I was, before!

Well, into bussiness. One day, ... I don't remember exactly what day..or when I did it! "One day" simply seemed a perfect beginning for my next sentense. Fine. One day, may be, my head was working in the right way.. I just decided, that I got to decide something about my future!

I was thinking, "Ok, this is it. I got to decide what I have to become now. Now that I know, what I am capable of ... I should know". And then, a feeble voice, inside me, spoke to me; "YOU..make a "decision".. don't make me laugh..". I ask, " Now, who is this"? "I am YOU". " YOU are me? Then who am I"? The voice spoke again, "Good beggining, isn't it"? "Oh no! Now don't make me think THAT way..You know..THAT way"! "What way"? " THAT way...Who am I? Why am i sent here..? By whom..? How things began..? How will it end..? As if I care.."! The voice spoke again, "Stop..Stop..Now do you understand, why I was mocked by the idea that "YOU", of all persons, make a "decision".. ? "No"! "Well, you are a dreamer, aren't you?You dream a lot, and yet, you don't wake up. You dream of achieving the top and yet you remain low, and don't even try to reach it, even when you are shown a way to do it. Even if you try, you get too tired, and a bit lazy, if truth be told, and finally, you stop trying..melt away..and yet again.. you dream of trying..don't you"?

Now that was true an I couldn't argue with that.. That day, I did not make my decision. Nor did I, the next day.. nor the next... never after that...

I was not made for thinking... I was made for dreaming. I would dream, indeed, if that is what I am made for..And I would pass it on to others... That's what I realized from that little incident...

But I still could not figure out what I must do as a dreamer... I, who dream, must dream of a way, how not to dream.. or rather... dream of waking up...!?

Well...!

BEYOND ACADEMICS...

...And he speaks on and on. I think it was Physics.. coz everything is, but about physics!

It was the first hour. I liked it, my classroom..especially, my place. I usually sit near the window( ofcourse, if my bench mates allow me to..that is to say, when they are in good mood or when they do not have other work to do..). It keeps me connected with the "Earth". "Now where was I"?

So, this "sir" was explaining something that firmly refused to enter into my brain. And so, on that day, I was virtually "out-of-bussiness"!

I was looking out, through the window..It looked like, as if someone had decorated the earth with green velvet carpets. The weather was just fine for someone with a creative mind.

I was walking through those fields..The grasses were tall and young dew drops were sticking on to them, as if they seeked their protection against some evil force! Chill breeze, brushed my hair, as it walked past me.. I smiled.. The clear sky, neither blue, nor gray, sang a melifluous tune to accompany the cry of birds...

....."You! Third bench, last girl...Stand Up"!