WHERE IS BEAUTY?

Beauty lies-
In those hands- tiny, yet strong;
wailing and crying out for help
wrapped in those dirty pieces of cloth-
left out to rot inside trash
with vegetable and faecal matter-
In those hands- in that cry.

Beauty lies-
In those eyes, shrunk due to tears;
clothes- that hid almost nothing
hands that tried to hide bruises
vaccant eyes, lost in search of help
A body that failed to work
In those eyes- in those tears.

Beauty lies-
In those silver hairs, soft and dry;
wrinkles that ornamented the skin
eyes that tried to recognise things
And awaited the moment of eternal peace;
cherishing her breath till her last inhalation-
In her thoughts- in her pain.

THE BIG DECISION

Everyone, for once in their life has to make one decision, from which there is no escape! That is, about their future. About what they wish to become; how one is going to carry on...And everybody makes that one decision, for sure.Even that person, who says, that he has left his future to "God's goodwill", has made that decision, hasn't he?

Well, this essay, is not about any decision-making techniques. Nor is it about my great plans for my future. This essay is about my experience in making that decision, rather.

Mind you, I am not a "responsible" type of a girl. I never cared about anything, not that I do now! But definitely, I'm now, loads better than what I was, before!

Well, into bussiness. One day, ... I don't remember exactly what day..or when I did it! "One day" simply seemed a perfect beginning for my next sentense. Fine. One day, may be, my head was working in the right way.. I just decided, that I got to decide something about my future!

I was thinking, "Ok, this is it. I got to decide what I have to become now. Now that I know, what I am capable of ... I should know". And then, a feeble voice, inside me, spoke to me; "YOU..make a "decision".. don't make me laugh..". I ask, " Now, who is this"? "I am YOU". " YOU are me? Then who am I"? The voice spoke again, "Good beggining, isn't it"? "Oh no! Now don't make me think THAT way..You know..THAT way"! "What way"? " THAT way...Who am I? Why am i sent here..? By whom..? How things began..? How will it end..? As if I care.."! The voice spoke again, "Stop..Stop..Now do you understand, why I was mocked by the idea that "YOU", of all persons, make a "decision".. ? "No"! "Well, you are a dreamer, aren't you?You dream a lot, and yet, you don't wake up. You dream of achieving the top and yet you remain low, and don't even try to reach it, even when you are shown a way to do it. Even if you try, you get too tired, and a bit lazy, if truth be told, and finally, you stop trying..melt away..and yet again.. you dream of trying..don't you"?

Now that was true an I couldn't argue with that.. That day, I did not make my decision. Nor did I, the next day.. nor the next... never after that...

I was not made for thinking... I was made for dreaming. I would dream, indeed, if that is what I am made for..And I would pass it on to others... That's what I realized from that little incident...

But I still could not figure out what I must do as a dreamer... I, who dream, must dream of a way, how not to dream.. or rather... dream of waking up...!?

Well...!

BEYOND ACADEMICS...

...And he speaks on and on. I think it was Physics.. coz everything is, but about physics!

It was the first hour. I liked it, my classroom..especially, my place. I usually sit near the window( ofcourse, if my bench mates allow me to..that is to say, when they are in good mood or when they do not have other work to do..). It keeps me connected with the "Earth". "Now where was I"?

So, this "sir" was explaining something that firmly refused to enter into my brain. And so, on that day, I was virtually "out-of-bussiness"!

I was looking out, through the window..It looked like, as if someone had decorated the earth with green velvet carpets. The weather was just fine for someone with a creative mind.

I was walking through those fields..The grasses were tall and young dew drops were sticking on to them, as if they seeked their protection against some evil force! Chill breeze, brushed my hair, as it walked past me.. I smiled.. The clear sky, neither blue, nor gray, sang a melifluous tune to accompany the cry of birds...

....."You! Third bench, last girl...Stand Up"!