MY HERO OF THE YEAR 2010!

A year on the wane- and I sat looking back at the gone days- thinking about that an incident that had an impact on me this year. It gave me my Hero of the year 2010!

Traveling by bus is something that had I learned to enjoy with much difficulty. If I can avoid it, I would. Fact however remains that I had aspired to become a 'Bus Conductor' in my 1st standard (Trust me- I did not know then that Rajnikanth was a Bus Conductor before he became an actor!). I felt and still do feel that it's almost Magical- for at times- a conductor of a crowded bus almost defies gravity and still manages to cut the bus fares! His 'Balancing Act' is that something that attracts me the most! The second thing that attracted me about the Bus Conductors was the Bag- Full of money!!! The clink and clank of coins, the rolls of paper currency held in his hand like a Japanese Hand Fan and bright colored ticket papers! I used to think that Bus Conductors are the richest people around to have got so much money!

But then- as I was growing up, I found that my views about the entire 'Bus Travel' had changed. This happened- to me precise, my 12th standard. I usually avoid crowded buses. But one day- it was very late and I probably had some test or something (else I could have done a “suffering from fever”, of course!) And I boarded this extremely crowded bus at 8:30 AM in the morning. No one would budge and I was hanging out on the foot board of the bus- with only the people hanging behind me to support me! Until then, I who had always admired the heroics of Kamal Hassan in a tamil song- 'Valai Osai' from movie 'Satya' (where he hangs on the steps with the heroine) felt that he should seriously consider a romance inside the bus! Safety first (no pun intended)! I was terrified. I had almost fallen off, whenever the driver felt like pressing the brakes. I got down almost two stops before my bus stop, and walked all the way the school from there, only to stand outside the class for the next 45 minutes for coming late. And, I had missed my test!

As the years rolled on- I had had further unpleasant bus experiences where I had to stand for almost 2 hours when I had to take the public buses to get to my college. And even worse were the exam days- when I actually stood in a crowded bus trying to study a year's worth syllabus in 45 minutes! I had lost my liking for buses since then.

This incident, where I found my Hero happened about a few months back- in a bus. Under unavoidable conditions, I get home by bus. That evening the crowd was unbearable. A group of college students boarded the bus. Almost all of them were trying out various heroics typical to their age. One of them- who looked very determined, did a Kamal Hassan in 'Satya'- paying no heed to the conductor who kept shouting at the top of his voice, asking these guys to get inside the bus. He kept throwing wise-cracks at his friends, holding the bar with just one hand and all the other circus stuff. Suddenly, there was a trouble on the road and the driver applied brake. This clown had lost all his balance and fell right in the middle of the road, amidst the traffic! The Rickshaw-walas and two-wheeler drivers abusing him had absolutely 'no effect' on his thick skull and he boarded the bus once again, now a complete Hero, with all his dumb friends cheering for him!

There was this lady. Sitting in the seat adjacent to the door- fat, dark and her hair tied up high into a thick bun. Her Bindi covered almost her entire forehead. Nobody saw her rising from her seat- and she slapped him real hard on his back with such a force that the fellow was thrown off balance once again! Now looking totally confused and speechless, he silently moved into the crowd and became invisible throughout the rest of the journey!

Kudos to her! I felt like getting her autograph!

It's never too late to tell these 'Roadside Romeos' that heroism is not risking your life! A Hero is someone who values his life! If a Hero has no idea about the value of his life, how can we expect him to value another's? It's a feeling that almost most of us have deep down- to give a good thrashing to these guys, make them behave better for their own good. She had the guts and the heart to do it. She did it. And I am sure- almost everyone who had been on the bus on that day with me would agree- that she is my HERO of the year 2010!

26/11- THE NUMBERS

Two years ago- this day, I had realized something. I had realized that the term "Terrorism" was not just a term used by politicians almost everyday of their term in or out of office. It is not just a term that could grab you a prize when used appropriately in say- a debate or essay-writing contest in schools. It is not just a term used in lazy chats along with tea and biscuits. It is a term, very real. And its reality is something that you realize only when you feel it. Not read, not talk, not think- but feel it. You feel it- when those Numbers- 200 or 300 on the television screens cease to remain mere numbers. You feel it when you dread the ringing of your phone. You feel it- when you see a family lose a father, or a husband or a brother or an uncle- in a mere moment that you had never thought you would see soon. People are born and are dead each day of the year. But on a few of those days, the birth or the death mean something to you. Not numbers on television screens or the newspapers- but an invisible rope tying up something tight deep down in your mind.

The two years have faded in time. And every now and then, during this time- when media runs out of stories or when celebrities “Tweet” about it, the episode emerges out from its ruins like some ghost of the Christmas Past! And as all the “dutiful” citizens do- we usually tend to stop doing- whatever that is, we do and listen to what the media has got to say. Even though we are all the “all-knowing”, “cynical”, “true-citizens” of this great Nation- we still like to believe that justice prevails sometimes. It’s a real word that means something outside the dictionary too. Even though we are realists, our thoughts, still tend to get influenced by fantasy. We try, earnestly, to be the “unintelligent”. And it is with all these fantasies crowding our thoughts- we pause to live our lives and listen to what the media has got to say. Sometimes- rebut, or denial at times or sometimes it is about how the “sole-captive” enjoys singing old Bollywood numbers! With a secret pride whooping the conquest of intelligence and realism over fable and fantasy- We, the Citizens, go back to our “peaceful lives”.

Two years the candles had burnt with their flames fueled by the souls of the lives gone. And let’s say, twenty years from now- something does happen. Something close enough to “Justice”. But when that happens- this great nation would have lost those citizens who would have cared for this “Justice”! Twenty years from now- from being “Acts of Terror” or “Loss of loved ones”- the invisible knot suffocating us now- would cease to do so. What was felt now- would go back once again to be “Numbers” in the pages of history. Just like Jallianwala Bagh Massacre or Hiroshima/Nagasaki. The children of the future would have to remember these “Numbers”- as they would become answers to questions on the question papers. They would mean nothing. It would feel nothing. It would remain “Numbers”- black symbols on the white pages, its existence not felt though, real.

Is this what we want? Let Lives be valued as lives- not mere numbers. And I shall wait for that to happen. I shall wait...

Older Articles on this: "Home" Calling... , A Reason, to Cry...

THE LONELY FROG

Amidst the blissful lotus pond
Moon and water shared a bond
There, lay a frog with watery eyes;
In search of a friend from land or skies!

Days and months, he waited in vain,
His heart grew weak and brittle with pain!
"A friend would come"- hoping, he stayed;
And one spring day, his prayer got paid!

Along came a buzzing, a tiny figure in sky,
Landed beside him there, a cute dragon fly!
"Here is my friend", the little frog thought,
And went along there, for its friendship he sought!

"Stay away from me", said the dragon fly,
"For I’d soon end up being a dessert in your pie"!
"No!" said the frog, his eyes filled with tears,
"Say not such words, for in my heart they pierce"!

"Don’t cry Mr. Frog", said the fly, touched,
"For I accept your friendship, and adore it, as much"!
And so, they remained friends, true to their words,
And no more was the frog lonely, from that day onwards!

PS: My attempt at a story poem!

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

Happy Diwali people!

See you soon with my next post.. Until then...

PS: Doodles done on MS-Paint

WHAT THEY CALL- “THE PASSING CLOUD”…

It is something that the elders in the house call- "passing cloud". There are so many things that mean so much more to us and so less to them. No complaints. This is not going to be about the generation gap and the little tantrums. It was the festivities around that made me open up my MS- Word this morning. Festivities- the first thing that comes to my mind- is slow background humming number by Lata- The Mangeshkar, mother holding the ‘Arthi ki Thali’, ‘Me watching’, sour faced, and someone says to me- ‘Why so serious’? Ok. I got carried away.

Yesterday- the Vijayadasami day- was just another day in a 365 day calendar. I work up late. I brushed my teeth late. Just a usual holiday business! The one good thing perhaps was- I put a nice big Thika on our cat- Thuppaandi (doesn’t mean anything. Mom named him. Thought it was a nice and funny name). He was quizzical about the entire ordeal- couldn’t understand why the entire ‘family tree’ was surrounded around him and laughing! The surprise and innocence in him- made it funnier!

But the Yesterday made me think. I am beginning to think that this line is such a cliché! In the past 4 years since I began blogging, I might have used this "made me think" line on countless occasions. Sometimes I "think" that all this "thinking" has left me with so much more to "think"- that the entire "thinking" in the process had ultimately yielded nothing worthwhile! All the philosophies and principles I had formulated inside my mind- had stayed there safe and sound- untouched by the practical world! Thanks to the "thinking".

Well, once again- the Yesterday made me think. As a young girl- I had always been enthusiastic about buying new dresses or celebrating something! But out of the blue- there is this new me- who has not only stopped thinking about the festivities- but there is something else- a strange dark evil force- stopping me to be happy about going out and shop, celebrate etc. A holiday- these days- mean just another day when I can stretch myself and do nothing!

With Diwali around the corner- I am seriously thinking about a ‘make-over’!

ACCIDENT

55 Fiction


He should not have spoken to her that way. He was sorry. He knew he was doing the right thing now.

Waiting for the Gynecologist, Dr. Sheila- he thought about the first moment they met. Everything had been so perfect. But now- this accident!

“Mr. Sharma”?
“Yes”
“Abortion? Patient”?
“Yes. Leela…”
“Mrs. Leela Patnaik”?

NEWS ON THE MOVE?

Today- 30th Sep, Chennai, Tamil Nadu: The news channels hyping up the Ayodhya Verdict to a fairly predictable effect. Certain organizations have closed down their office premises. A good thing- on the whole. While a certain poor, unlucky souls, such as yours truly, are still inside the office building, trying to predict if the office would be closed soon or not. The time is 2:00 PM- and the big people here have no intention to stop working. May be they have decided that there is not going to be much hue and cry, after all? Personally- I think all this anxiety in me is due to the news channels. One Burkha Dutt can make your pulse rate reach the sky! Imagine what a prize this is! A verdict after ages! Now this is just me- post my "news-reading" phase!

I used to think that the verdict was never going to come out. Not before the Common wealth Games at least. The game has had enough trouble so far- and the government does not need another communal riot- especially in the face of the Games! I can imagine how that would be! An end to all that "Athithi Devo Bhavah" campaign of our tourism department! That’s again me- post my "news-reading" phase! I wonder why we read news!? Don’t we have enough trouble already getting on with our own lives? Besides- there is nothing good there- happening in the news channels. It’s all a "Peepli [LIVE]" over there- a media that loves disaster! And to think things like "Commonwealth Games" just land in their lap! Amongst all this shrieks about "uncovering" corruption- a small bit of news did make me happy. Mary Kom- 5 time world champion boxer, returning home after her 5th victory!

The time is 2:11 PM and still no announcements about letting us go. Well my office and I have this in common. Neither of us thinks that anything was going to happen! Besides- c’mon! This is just High Court judgment! Whichever party loses- is sure to appeal! Big deal! Now that would take another, what- 50 years?

Thinking about this- leads me to another thought! Will my kids know who Rama is? Will they know Babar? Most of my friends have no clue whatsoever about Ramayana or the Mahabharata! Most people- friends I have known- take fancy in saying that they are atheists. To think that this is an issue that has been going since the 1800s!

Well I don’t have any view about the whole issue. I, like the media here- am awaiting the verdict. I also believe that this verdict could change a few things. Change many things. Like letting us off work? Nah! 2:20 PM… Now that’s not going to happen is it?

SAILING NOWHERE

The sea was wide- so blue and cold

I needed to land before- I grew old

Not a pint of anything was still sold

Neither rocks so bright, nor the shining gold.

Birds filled the sky-and fishes, the sea

There was no land- to where I can flee

In the winking waters- I felt its glee

Show me a land where- I can be free

Such a weary travel- To where, I knew not

All was litter- What I'd now got

Oh! Please tell me sea! Is this what I sought?

Such a tiresome battle- But for what was it fought?

The sea was wide-so blue and cold

I needed to land before I grew old

I might never land, may never be bold,

It's now just a life here- With rocks and gold...

CUP-CAKES AND BRONZE BELLS

There is a certain shop- a certain cake shop. The best one I have ever been to. Of all the varieties of cakes in there- there was a time when I would only want to have cup-cakes. I never liked anything else. It’s not the same anymore.

Sugar- is something that I prefer not to have. I don’t like the sweetness in it. Dolls- I like the ones that actually do something. Not just be. I have always hated the Barbies! I love the monkey dolls that have clangs in their hands- and would clap their hands once you key them.

Noise, crowd, maniac laughter, boredom, sunny afternoons- there are just too many things that I do not like.

Sometimes- all that you seem to need is silence. Sometimes- even Rahman’s tunes fail to bring your smile back. Sometimes- the tinkling of a tiny little bronze bell is all it takes to inspire you. Sometimes- there is just so much around, yet you only seem to need a little piece of woolen thread to make you happy.

I have always had weird needs. I found joy in playing with the “aluminium balance”- the ones used by vegetable vendors!

“Lighter Side” has given me joy. It has made me smile. It has helped me be me. It has designed my life.

This is one of the very few things- that makes me happy. And it has been a part of me- my life since 2006, it completes 4 years this year. I have never had blog anniversaries. It never occurred to me that I must write an anniversary post. But this time- I felt that I must. For not only that this is going to be the fourth anniversary, but this would also be my 100^th post! Strange though it is- 4 years and just 100 posts!

I would like to thank each and every one of the readers who have kept me going all these years! It’s a great feeling to see myself here- where I am. I would like to remember a few of the posts here- that had marked the change in me- the growth in me.

Rajanigandha - This was something that helped me realize that I could write.

Masterji - A story based on a true incident- as narrated to me by my father.

Death of Hate - My first try at abstract writing.

Anonymous- A story- that surprised me. I ended up writing a 5- part series!

The Other end of a Cigarette - My best, till date. Also- my 50^th post.

A little dream called hope - Inspired by true happenings around. This was a white light in a dark room.

The Marble Game- It depressed me.

Diya - A style I had tried for the first time.

Old man under the Tamarind tree - Point of view story.

Goddess of sin - An abstract. A surprise.

There are a lot more to come along. For now, dear blog- a very happy 100 to you!

PEEPLI [LIVE]

This is not a movie review.

There is Earth. There is life. There is soul. All this makes Peepli [LIVE]- not just a movie but life itself. I felt as though I have steeped into real lives of those people on the screen. As though all that was happening in front of me. None of them in the movie were acting. They were living.

Natha and Buddhiya, two brothers, who are about to loose their land- happen to hear about a scheme that pays compensation of Rs 1 Lakh to the family of farmers who commit suicide. Budhdhiya and Natha discuss and Budhdhiya plants into Natha the idea of committing suicide so that his wife and children can benefit by the money!

It is a serious theme. Very serious. But the plot had been handled in such a hilarious manner- Kudos to Anusha Rizvi, the director and the team of Peepli [LIVE]!

“Coming back after the break- Shilpa Shetty confirms that she did not have an affair with Prince William”!

Says a news bulletin report in the movie- that makes us feel- Is THIS the kind of news that we watch all day long? A female news reader- who does a perfect Barkha Dutt, says to her superior- “You know all these TRPs are fake numbers”! And he replies- “They are real for our sponsors”! This is what the news industry is built on. The scoop. The hype. And news? Sadly no. A competitor channel meanwhile gets another scoop- “Saif Ali Khan kisses a classmate in his 8^th standard and the girl is still madly in love with him”! India Shining- really!

A local reporter- Rakesh, who accidentally comes across Natha’s suicide plans, publishes the news in the local news paper- and there begins the whole drama!

News reporters flock into the quiet Peepli like hungry jackals, in search of story- pandemonium!

As the quiet and timid Natha slowly moves around the house the camera follows him all the time- we see reporters inside his house- everywhere. A reporter says- “As you can see, we are standing RIGHT inside Nathaji’s house, and we can see here his clothes hanging…”! Is THIS the kind of news we watch all day long?

Natha, his brother Budhdhiya, his wife, his kids, his mother- they are all real some ones, who make news each day on TV- yet they are just nobodies! We see there- how a story evolves through the journalists- out of scratch and the real characters of the story are just silent spectators of the entire drama happening around- the characters who have nothing to say, while the narrators never shut up!

A politics that is real. Minister who relies on P.A s for schemes that can make Natha take back his decision- and P.A s who are- bureaucrats. I was so reminded of BBC’s “Yes Minister”! Couldn’t help laughing! When the opposition gets the clue- they land there with a huge garland for Natha and a colour TV. A scene shows Natha’s irritated wife complaining about TV and other “gifts” occupying space unnecessarily in the house.

Journalists who can stoop down to any levels. Politicians who want to make issues out of non issues and play cheap politics. People- blinded by the media glitz and glamour go out on candle light marches with banners reading “Brave Natha”! This is what is making news!

Budhdhiya as Natha’s brother is remarkable. Natha’s irritated wife! I especially loved the scene where she beats Natha and Budhdhiya black and blue and chucks them out of the house and locks the door- when she finds out that they have lost the land! Natha’s mother- too sick to even get out of her bed- but never leaves the opportunity to emphasize that she’s a mother-in-law!

There were no actors. There were just people.

Sarcastic, dark comedy that makes you laugh at what you have been taking seriously for so long! It’s truth. It’s life.

THE ETERNAL BELIEVER

Vasco cat stretched himself- in and out. Lazy cat! Doesn’t give a damn for anyone. He behaves as though he owns the place! My mother tried driving him away with a stick. He caught hold of the stick with his two front paws and started chewing it! Seeing that my mother’s expressions had softened, he rolled on the floor, mewing like a cute little movie-cat, scratching the nothings! I like cats. But I felt that- he needed to be restricted. Can’t blame my parents! They brought me up the same way as Vasco!

I switched on my laptop, today- and I was thinking of what was the great way to waste the today? I clicked on the “Indian” movie! What great dialogues by Sujatha! Pity I never read his works when he was alive! The movie “Indian” is one of the finest movies made by Shankar. If not for the heroines or the comedy track in the movie- it completely qualifies to be an art movie! I like the modus operandi of the murders “Indian thaaththa” commits in the movie! Amazing performance by Kamal Hassan. So simple but so effective! Manorama is a great actress. One scene- and she makes such a deep impact on you. Watching someone like her perform is an out- of- the- world experience!

Then, I watched “Roja”. But only when I was watching it- I remembered that today was 14^th August and tomorrow the Independence Day!

Everyday had the same sun rising and setting on us. And it’s the same life- that dawns and wanes. I remember an old Tamil lyrics that reads along the line- “The sky is my Bodhi Tree- that teaches me a new lesson each day of my life”. It is a beautiful lyrics. But I wonder what the sky teaches me? Does it teach me not to ask questions? Does it teach me to do my duty as a respectable citizen of this nation? Does it teach me to bind myself to the society- chain myself to the system and be a silent spectator of anything and everything that happens around me?

The other day- I was returning from somewhere by shared auto. There was a limping woman, who was begging- as we were waiting for the lights to turn green. A man in a car got angry as she kept banging the glass window of his car and shouted at her. She left the signal- mumbling away all her anger- her limp was gone!

A country known for its hospitality! We are taught “Athithi devo bhavah”- when we are yet to learn to talk or walk,, by our grand parents or parents. And in the recent times, our Government too is trying to help us remember these lessons. And we do remember our lessons. We’d never forget them- would we? We have organizations like “Human Rights commission” to help sustain this valuable lesson. We are the kind-hearted masses- the largest Democracy, that believes that people change- if you give them a chance to change! We elect leaders who have criminal records- not once, not twice but many times- hoping that our belief in them would change them! Even if we are not in sync with our political leader- we simply refrain from voting. The Gandhigiri way of showing our protests. We believe in our justice system so much- that no matter how long it takes- 1 year, 2 years- 20 years, 33 years- we would wait. For we do not have any law that limits the duration of a trial! We- the dormant Democracy. The eternal believers. The kind- hearted hosts.

Vasco cat needs someone who can teach him some discipline. And to sustain discipline- one must sustain the fear of punishment. An iron rod- to stop him liking to chew the soft wooden stick. He needs to realize that the doors beyond the veranda is out-of-bounds for him. He needs to realize that he can remain a cute- movie cat, only as long as he remains outside the doors. None of his mischief would be tolerated the next time he commits it. We must stop being kind to him- though it would pain us- and help him realize that he doesn’t appear so cute when he makes mistakes. It’s in our hands to help keep our home clean. For if not now- one fine day- we would realize that there are more litters than us in our very home!

It’s time to pray again. Born the way we are born- we are believers by birth. And with that belief- that the sun sets each day and rises the next day- the belief that has clutched the core of our hearts for so long- I repeat the words of Gurudev- once more, in a prayer-

“WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high

Where knowledge is free

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments

By narrow domestic walls

Where words come out from the depth of truth

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way

Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit

Where the mind is led forward by thee

Into ever-widening thought and action

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake”...

PAPER PLANE

There are questions all around! All they say is seek out the answers. There was a world- some time back- may be, a long time back- there were no questions! There were no answers either. There was life- just there- waiting for us to experience it, live it! May be that was all dream! But aren’t dreams the lessons that the other world taught us? So many years, or perhaps, so many lives have gone past us! May be it is now the right time, to revise the lessons lost!

A dragon-fly that seemed as though it did not fly on it own, but the breeze was making it move. It was such fun to feel it flutter in your hand! But why is the thought bringing a tear in those eyes, that once shone with joy! What is making us think- it is not right? Is it the questions? Or the answers? It’s something beyond questions or answers! Colours were magic! You never ever got tired of them! Whatever they may be- but it was something that was far more beautiful than anything you had ever seen before! Where is the magic now? Why is that that there are only a few of them now? Questions and Questions again!

Have you seen a paper plane?
Have you seen it soar up in the sky- just anywhere?

I have. I used to think that I could make it anytime- out of a piece of paper- and board on it and just go anywhere! I used to watch movies where pigeons and swans carried messages of love to places far and unknown! My paper plane was just the same! It would take me to planets I read about! I could try playing around the Saturn’s rings! Or perhaps, I could measure even the Jupiter! I could go to school on it! How that would envy my friends around!

Have you felt it too? Ever?
Where was that life lost?
Where was that world? It could not be here- but then where?

Questions.

Answers you’d seek- and they say- they lie within! But so are the questions! People around feel so happy and proud of you all the time- to see that you’ve grown up! Being “responsible”! And yet- you keep asking yourself- “Am I”? And you keep saying to yourself- “Someday I wish to go away from everything, for a while”! That is where, the world is lost. The moment, when you dreams cease to remain dreams and become logical! They become your future! “You make your future”, I hear them cry! Sure you do! But not at the cost of your happiness! Not at the cost of your dreams!

There is a hope- that stays alive. That someday we would learn to dream again. Someday- the dreams would cease to remain logical! Some day the sun would wake me up with a smile and the moon would sing me a lullaby! There would be white and blue balloons all around me- and I would help them fly away!

Stop questioning for a while! Stop answering for sometime! There is life awaiting to be lived! There is a world awaiting to be revived! Awaiting to dream about! There is always a paper plane, waiting out there- for you to board on- and fly away…

GOATS FROM DAINIKPUR

Baldev was tired. He sat resting his back on the cool clay that formed a wall of his dream. The week went by so fast that he did not even remember that the end of happiness was so near. Puja had kept him alive. His mother’s last wish came true. She had seen Maa Bhavaani’s kind face, before she passed away two days back. Puja came to an end. It had been quite an affair with the entire village coming together. It was rare. Baldev thought of the differences in each of them. Division in them. All that would be back now. Dreams, never lasted for long! And now it was time for him to think about his life. About his family. His three children and his wife- Lakshmi.

***

Had it not been for Swarnmati’s dying- he would still dare to hope. She was a parting gift. Given to him by his father. He had thought that she would take care of his life, his family. But he had never thought that she would die so early. She was strong. One of a kind. An object of jealousy. Had it not been for the damned flu that struck her!

***

He took up his father’s profession. There was a time when his family flourished. He could always try living, thinking of the past. The entire village got their milk from his family. Everyone respected his father and him. But since the flu, nothing remained the same! Swarnmati was the last remaining goat that his father had. He gave her to Baldev, before he passed away. Baldev cared more for her than for his sons and wife! He never thought that the cursed flu will strike again! Maa Bhavaani’s Puja had veiled his eyes, though, for a brief while.

***

Lakshmi was trying her best to keep the children happy. But the youngest, Sukkhu would never listen. Stubborn kid, he was. He wanted to go to the municipal school like the other kids. He would not listen even to his parents. There were times when he’d run away from home and be sitting outside the school, listening to what was being taught. If only they could afford…

***

Baldev took his time. During the Puja, Maa Bhavaani had shown him a way. He arranged flowers for Maa Bhavaani’s idols from the nearby town. During this time, he came to know from Jogidas, the flower merchant- that goats of Dainikpur were the best. They were strong and never caught flu easily. Goats from Dainikpur, was all that he could think- to put an end to his family’s misfortunes. A smile would come home then. Now all that he needed was money to buy the goats.

***

Lakshmi had a golden bangle. Even after selling that, Baldev did not have enough money to buy the goat. All his past savings were spent in the funeral rituals of his mother. Funerals are such costly affairs. And he had had two of them in the past year! Death, costlier than life! Lakshmi suggested that his eldest son should also help them now, to run the family. He was now 14 years old. Old enough to be a man in those lands- where men grew old, not by their age, but by their experience. And it was decided that both Baldev and Raghu, his eldest would work for the temple.

***

Raghu was a boy, ready to be a man. He knew his family’s plight. He’d seen the good times in it too. But he dared not dream of them. A happiness that would be- thinking of the days of smiles. But that happiness is like celebrating the clouds before the rains. He believed that he should not think of such happiness- for then, he would cease to get used to reality. However harsh it may be- he had the courage to face it. His mother was his strength. She helped him, always- to be a man!

***

Everyday, Baldev and Raghu would bring water from the well for Maa Bhavaani’s Arti. Baldev would bring flowers from the town and Raghu would clean the temple. This they would do, until Baldev saves enough to buy goats from Dainikpur. Baldev could not think of anything else, apart from the future. He dreamed of goats and more goats, each day, henceforth.

But the days went by, without yielding them anything. All that they got out of this was a day’s meal. Baldev was very worried and he decided that he needed to do something to change his luck. Maa Bhavaani had shown him a way, once. She would do so, again. Every night, he would wander around her temple, talking to her- like a mad man. Goats were all he ever managed to pray. She would listen to him- through the silence of the darkness around him. He would be blessed, someday! One night, he was wandering near Maa Bhavaani’s temple where he worked, as usual, praying. He noticed that the temple Priest had not closed the temple door properly…

***

Baldev was in Dainikpur. He wanted to get the best goat, for he could afford just one goat. That goat would yield him money to buy more goats. More smiles and happiness. Maa Bhavaani had indeed listened to his prayers! He searched and searched for the best goat, and got himself Jamuna. She was fine and strong. As white as milk. As soon as he saw her, he started to believe that his sad days were gone. He felt the hope in him- something which he was beginning to forget. He got the bus to his village from Dainikpur. Baldev was now a happy man, who had his goat- his life, with him.

***

When he reached his village, he sensed that something was not alright. It felt eerie. All his happiness turned into fear. He did not want to guess on things. His happiness kept his strength and he headed straight towards his home. He saw Lakshmi sitting near the door. She looked as though she had not slept for long time. Her tears were washing her face. As soon as she saw Baldev, broke into more tears and rushed towards him. Baldev could not understand why she was crying. He tried to console her. He showed her Jamuna. But as soon as she saw Jamuna, she stopped crying, and looked him in a strange way. It was fear. Also, it was distrust and helplessness! Baldev was not prepared for this.

***

Lakshmi told him, sobbing, that Maa Bhavaani’s jewels were stolen the previous day. And that morning, the priest told everyone that Baldev was the one who stole the jewels! Baldev had not told even to his wife, that he was going away to Dainikpur. And since Baldev was not to be found, the priest’s words were confirmed to be the truth. Everyone in the village thought that he had stolen the jewels to be sold in the town. And instead of Baldev, the angry and disgusted villagers took Raghu to have him punished with hundred lashes!

***

Baldev rushed to the spot where the people of the village were punishing Raghu. As soon he went, he was caught by the villagers and was beaten black and blue. Men are angry all the time. No one had ever known the reason for their anger! Men just want to take out their anger all the time, on someone. May it be their women- or other men. They would not listen to one word of what Baldev said. Finally, when he was asked about the jewels, he replied to them that knew of no jewels. They asked then how come he got the money to get the goat, from Dainikpur. His obsession with the “Goats from Dainikpur” was a well-known fact. He replied that it was Maa Bhavaani who gave him the money. It angered the crowd, even more.

The villagers would not believe him and started abusing and beating him. Baldev told everyone- amidst all the hue and cry- that the previous day the temple door was not locked. So he was just about to enter into the temple to see what happened, he saw a few people coming in a bullock cart, from the next village. They seemed to be rich people and they were taking a pregnant lady, who was about to deliver, to the town nearby. May be Maa Bhavaani had hidden one’s happiness in others' suffering! Gods always worked in a strange manner. Suddenly, their wheel got stuck and he helped them to get the wheel out of the pit. The good man in the cart gave him a golden chain as a token of gratitude. And that was how he had got money to buy the goat.

***

Truth, to them, the villagers- indeed, was stranger than fiction! They kept beating him and Raghu. Suddenly, a group of people arrived catching hold of the temple priest. The priest had a bundle, which turned out to be the missing jewels from the temple. And he was caught when he tried to leave the village with the jewels. The priest, who had seen Baldev lurking near the temple, confessed in front of the villagers, that he felt it was a perfect plot to put the blame on him- which would give him enough time to escape from the village. Finally, Baldev and Raghu were released. They would bear forever now, the pain of innocence, punished.

***

Raghu who had suffered maximum due to the lashing, could not bear this pain. His pain grew each day. He was bed-ridden and Baldev had no money to save his son. The man, though he may be, but Raghu- was still, a child!

***

Baldev performed the funeral rights of Raghu, five days after that day. The goat from Dainikpur, was hanging on display at the Bismil Butcher’s butchery.

******