There is a certain shop- a certain cake shop. The best one I have ever been to. Of all the varieties of cakes in there- there was a time when I would only want to have cup-cakes. I never liked anything else. It’s not the same anymore.
Sugar- is something that I prefer not to have. I don’t like the sweetness in it. Dolls- I like the ones that actually do something. Not just be. I have always hated the Barbies! I love the monkey dolls that have clangs in their hands- and would clap their hands once you key them.
Noise, crowd, maniac laughter, boredom, sunny afternoons- there are just too many things that I do not like.
Sometimes- all that you seem to need is silence. Sometimes- even Rahman’s tunes fail to bring your smile back. Sometimes- the tinkling of a tiny little bronze bell is all it takes to inspire you. Sometimes- there is just so much around, yet you only seem to need a little piece of woolen thread to make you happy.
I have always had weird needs. I found joy in playing with the “aluminium balance”- the ones used by vegetable vendors!
“Lighter Side” has given me joy. It has made me smile. It has helped me be me. It has designed my life.
This is one of the very few things- that makes me happy. And it has been a part of me- my life since 2006, it completes 4 years this year. I have never had blog anniversaries. It never occurred to me that I must write an anniversary post. But this time- I felt that I must. For not only that this is going to be the fourth anniversary, but this would also be my 100th post! Strange though it is- 4 years and just 100 posts!
I would like to thank each and every one of the readers who have kept me going all these years! It’s a great feeling to see myself here- where I am. I would like to remember a few of the posts here- that had marked the change in me- the growth in me.
Rajanigandha- This was something that helped me realize that I could write.
Masterji -A story based on a true incident- as narrated to me by my father.
There is Earth. There is life. There is soul. All this makes Peepli [LIVE]- not just a movie but life itself. I felt as though I have steeped into real lives of those people on the screen. As though all that was happening in front of me. None of them in the movie were acting. They were living.
Natha and Buddhiya, two brothers, who are about to loose their land- happen to hear about a scheme that pays compensation of Rs 1 Lakh to the family of farmers who commit suicide. Budhdhiya and Natha discuss and Budhdhiya plants into Natha the idea of committing suicide so that his wife and children can benefit by the money!
It is a serious theme. Very serious. But the plot had been handled in such a hilarious manner- Kudos to Anusha Rizvi, the director and the team of Peepli [LIVE]!
“Coming back after the break- Shilpa Shetty confirms that she did not have an affair with Prince William”!
Says a news bulletin report in the movie- that makes us feel- Is THIS the kind of news that we watch all day long? A female news reader- who does a perfect Barkha Dutt, says to her superior- “You know all these TRPs are fake numbers”! And he replies- “They are real for our sponsors”! This is what the news industry is built on. The scoop. The hype. And news? Sadly no. A competitor channel meanwhile gets another scoop- “Saif Ali Khan kisses a classmate in his 8th standard and the girl is still madly in love with him”! India Shining- really!
A local reporter- Rakesh, who accidentally comes across Natha’s suicide plans, publishes the news in the local news paper- and there begins the whole drama!
News reporters flock into the quiet Peepli like hungry jackals, in search of story- pandemonium!
As the quiet and timid Natha slowly moves around the house the camera follows him all the time- we see reporters inside his house- everywhere. A reporter says- “As you can see, we are standing RIGHT inside Nathaji’s house, and we can see here his clothes hanging…”! Is THIS the kind of news we watch all day long?
Natha, his brother Budhdhiya, his wife, his kids, his mother- they are all real some ones, who make news each day on TV- yet they are just nobodies! We see there- how a story evolves through the journalists- out of scratch and the real characters of the story are just silent spectators of the entire drama happening around- the characters who have nothing to say, while the narrators never shut up!
A politics that is real. Minister who relies on P.A s for schemes that can make Natha take back his decision- and P.A s who are- bureaucrats. I was so reminded of BBC’s “Yes Minister”! Couldn’t help laughing! When the opposition gets the clue- they land there with a huge garland for Natha and a colour TV. A scene shows Natha’s irritated wife complaining about TV and other “gifts” occupying space unnecessarily in the house.
Journalists who can stoop down to any levels. Politicians who want to make issues out of non issues and play cheap politics. People- blinded by the media glitz and glamour go out on candle light marches with banners reading “Brave Natha”! This is what is making news!
Budhdhiya as Natha’s brother is remarkable. Natha’s irritated wife! I especially loved the scene where she beats Natha and Budhdhiya black and blue and chucks them out of the house and locks the door- when she finds out that they have lost the land! Natha’s mother- too sick to even get out of her bed- but never leaves the opportunity to emphasize that she’s a mother-in-law!
There were no actors. There were just people.
Sarcastic, dark comedy that makes you laugh at what you have been taking seriously for so long!It’s truth. It’s life.
Vasco cat stretched himself- in and out. Lazy cat! Doesn’t give a damn for anyone. He behaves as though he owns the place! My mother tried driving him away with a stick. He caught hold of the stick with his two front paws and started chewing it! Seeing that my mother’s expressions had softened, he rolled on the floor, mewing like a cute little movie-cat, scratching the nothings! I like cats. But I felt that- he needed to be restricted. Can’t blame my parents! They brought me up the same way as Vasco!
I switched on my laptop, today- and I was thinking of what was the great way to waste the today? I clicked on the “Indian” movie! What great dialogues by Sujatha! Pity I never read his works when he was alive! The movie “Indian” is one of the finest movies made by Shankar. If not for the heroines or the comedy track in the movie- it completely qualifies to be an art movie! I like the modus operandi of the murders “Indian thaaththa” commits in the movie! Amazing performance by Kamal Hassan. So simple but so effective! Manorama is a great actress. One scene- and she makes such a deep impact on you. Watching someone like her perform is an out- of- the- world experience!
Then, I watched “Roja”. But only when I was watching it- I remembered that today was 14th August and tomorrow the Independence Day!
Everyday had the same sun rising and setting on us. And it’s the same life- that dawns and wanes. I remember an old Tamil lyrics that reads along the line- “The sky is my Bodhi Tree- that teaches me a new lesson each day of my life”. It is a beautiful lyrics. But I wonder what the sky teaches me? Does it teach me not to ask questions? Does it teach me to do my duty as a respectable citizen of this nation? Does it teach me to bind myself to the society- chain myself to the system and be a silent spectator of anything and everything that happens around me?
The other day- I was returning from somewhere by shared auto. There was a limping woman, who was begging- as we were waiting for the lights to turn green. A man in a car got angry as she kept banging the glass window of his car and shouted at her. She left the signal- mumbling away all her anger- her limp was gone!
A country known for its hospitality! We are taught “Athithi devo bhavah”- when we are yet to learn to talk or walk,, by our grand parents or parents. And in the recent times, our Government too is trying to help us remember these lessons. And we do remember our lessons. We’d never forget them- would we? We have organizations like “Human Rights commission” to help sustain this valuable lesson. We are the kind-hearted masses- the largest Democracy, that believes that people change- if you give them a chance to change! We elect leaders who have criminal records- not once, not twice but many times- hoping that our belief in them would change them! Even if we are not in sync with our political leader- we simply refrain from voting. The Gandhigiri way of showing our protests. We believe in our justice system so much- that no matter how long it takes- 1 year, 2 years- 20 years, 33 years- we would wait. For we do not have any law that limits the duration of a trial! We- the dormant Democracy. The eternal believers. The kind- hearted hosts.
Vasco cat needs someone who can teach him some discipline. And to sustain discipline- one must sustain the fear of punishment. An iron rod- to stop him liking to chew the soft wooden stick. He needs to realize that the doors beyond the veranda is out-of-bounds for him. He needs to realize that he can remain a cute- movie cat, only as long as he remains outside the doors. None of his mischief would be tolerated the next time he commits it. We must stop being kind to him- though it would pain us- and help him realize that he doesn’t appear so cute when he makes mistakes. It’s in our hands to help keep our home clean. For if not now- one fine day- we would realize that there are more litters than us in our very home!
It’s time to pray again. Born the way we are born- we are believers by birth. And with that belief- that the sun sets each day and rises the next day- the belief that has clutched the core of our hearts for so long- I repeat the words of Gurudev- once more, in a prayer-
“WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake”...
There are questions all around! All they say is seek out the answers. There was a world- some time back- may be, a long time back- there were no questions! There were no answers either. There was life- just there- waiting for us to experience it, live it! May be that was all dream! But aren’t dreams the lessons that the other world taught us? So many years, or perhaps, so many lives have gone past us! May be it is now the right time, to revise the lessons lost! A dragon-fly that seemed as though it did not fly on it own, but the breeze was making it move. It was such fun to feel it flutter in your hand! But why is the thought bringing a tear in those eyes, that once shone with joy! What is making us think- it is not right? Is it the questions? Or the answers? It’s something beyond questions or answers! Colours were magic! You never ever got tired of them! Whatever they may be- but it was something that was far more beautiful than anything you had ever seen before! Where is the magic now? Why is that that there are only a few of them now? Questions and Questions again! Have you seen a paper plane? Have you seen it soar up in the sky- just anywhere? I have. I used to think that I could make it anytime- out of a piece of paper- and board on it and just go anywhere! I used to watch movies where pigeons and swans carried messages of love to places far and unknown! My paper plane was just the same! It would take me to planets I read about! I could try playing around the Saturn’s rings! Or perhaps, I could measure even the Jupiter! I could go to school on it! How that would envy my friends around! Have you felt it too? Ever? Where was that life lost? Where was that world? It could not be here- but then where? Questions. Answers you’d seek- and they say- they lie within! But so are the questions! People around feel so happy and proud of you all the time- to see that you’ve grown up! Being “responsible”! And yet- you keep asking yourself- “Am I”? And you keep saying to yourself- “Someday I wish to go away from everything, for a while”! That is where, the world is lost. The moment, when you dreams cease to remain dreams and become logical! They become your future! “You make your future”, I hear them cry! Sure you do! But not at the cost of your happiness! Not at the cost of your dreams! There is a hope- that stays alive. That someday we would learn to dream again. Someday- the dreams would cease to remain logical! Some day the sun would wake me up with a smile and the moon would sing me a lullaby! There would be white and blue balloons all around me- and I would help them fly away! Stop questioning for a while! Stop answering for sometime! There is life awaiting to be lived! There is a world awaiting to be revived! Awaiting to dream about! There is always a paper plane, waiting out there- for you to board on- and fly away…
Baldev was tired. He sat resting his back on the cool clay that formed a wall of his dream. The week went by so fast that he did not even remember that the end of happiness was so near. Puja had kept him alive. His mother’s last wish came true. She had seen Maa Bhavaani’s kind face, before she passed away two days back. Puja came to an end. It had been quite an affair with the entire village coming together. It was rare. Baldev thought of the differences in each of them. Division in them. All that would be back now. Dreams, never lasted for long! And now it was time for him to think about his life. About his family. His three children and his wife- Lakshmi.
***
Had it not been for Swarnmati’s dying- he would still dare to hope. She was a parting gift. Given to him by his father. He had thought that she would take care of his life, his family. But he had never thought that she would die so early. She was strong. One of a kind. An object of jealousy. Had it not been for the damned flu that struck her!
***
He took up his father’s profession. There was a time when his family flourished. He could always try living, thinking of the past. The entire village got their milk from his family. Everyone respected his father and him. But since the flu, nothing remained the same! Swarnmati was the last remaining goat that his father had. He gave her to Baldev, before he passed away. Baldev cared more for her than for his sons and wife! He never thought that the cursed flu will strike again! Maa Bhavaani’s Puja had veiled his eyes, though, for a brief while.
***
Lakshmi was trying her best to keep the children happy. But the youngest, Sukkhu would never listen. Stubborn kid, he was. He wanted to go to the municipal school like the other kids. He would not listen even to his parents. There were times when he’d run away from home and be sitting outside the school, listening to what was being taught. If only they could afford…
***
Baldev took his time. During the Puja, Maa Bhavaani had shown him a way. He arranged flowers for Maa Bhavaani’s idols from the nearby town. During this time, he came to know from Jogidas, the flower merchant- that goats of Dainikpur were the best. They were strong and never caught flu easily. Goats from Dainikpur, was all that he could think- to put an end to his family’s misfortunes. A smile would come home then. Now all that he needed was money to buy the goats.
***
Lakshmi had a golden bangle. Even after selling that, Baldev did not have enough money to buy the goat. All his past savings were spent in the funeral rituals of his mother. Funerals are such costly affairs. And he had had two of them in the past year! Death, costlier than life! Lakshmi suggested that his eldest son should also help them now, to run the family. He was now 14 years old. Old enough to be a man in those lands- where men grew old, not by their age, but by their experience. And it was decided that both Baldev and Raghu, his eldest would work for the temple.
***
Raghu was a boy, ready to be a man. He knew his family’s plight. He’d seen the good times in it too. But he dared not dream of them. A happiness that would be- thinking of the days of smiles. But that happiness is like celebrating the clouds before the rains. He believed that he should not think of such happiness- for then, he would cease to get used to reality. However harsh it may be- he had the courage to face it. His mother was his strength. She helped him, always- to be a man!
***
Everyday, Baldev and Raghu would bring water from the well for Maa Bhavaani’s Arti. Baldev would bring flowers from the town and Raghu would clean the temple. This they would do, until Baldev saves enough to buy goats from Dainikpur. Baldev could not think of anything else, apart from the future. He dreamed of goats and more goats, each day, henceforth.
But the days went by, without yielding them anything. All that they got out of this was a day’s meal. Baldev was very worried and he decided that he needed to do something to change his luck. Maa Bhavaani had shown him a way, once. She would do so, again. Every night, he would wander around her temple, talking to her- like a mad man. Goats were all he ever managed to pray. She would listen to him- through the silence of the darkness around him. He would be blessed, someday! One night, he was wandering near Maa Bhavaani’s temple where he worked, as usual, praying. He noticed that the templePriest had not closed the temple door properly…
***
Baldev was in Dainikpur. He wanted to get the best goat, for he could afford just one goat. That goat would yield him money to buy more goats. More smiles and happiness. Maa Bhavaani had indeed listened to his prayers! He searched and searched for the best goat, and got himself Jamuna. She was fine and strong. As white as milk. As soon as he saw her, he started to believe that his sad days were gone. He felt the hope in him- something which he was beginning to forget. He got the bus to his village from Dainikpur. Baldev was now a happy man, who had his goat- his life, with him.
***
When he reached his village, he sensed that something was not alright. It felt eerie. All his happiness turned into fear. He did not want to guess on things. His happiness kept his strength and he headed straight towards his home. He saw Lakshmi sitting near the door. She looked as though she had not slept for long time. Her tears were washing her face. As soon as she saw Baldev, broke into more tears and rushed towards him. Baldev could not understand why she was crying. He tried to console her. He showed her Jamuna. But as soon as she saw Jamuna, she stopped crying, and looked him in a strange way. It was fear. Also, it was distrust and helplessness! Baldev was not prepared for this.
***
Lakshmi told him, sobbing, that Maa Bhavaani’s jewels were stolen the previous day. And that morning, the priest told everyone that Baldev was the one who stole the jewels! Baldev had not told even to his wife, that he was going away to Dainikpur. And since Baldev was not to be found, the priest’s words were confirmed to be the truth. Everyone in the village thought that he had stolen the jewels to be sold in the town. And instead of Baldev, the angry and disgusted villagers took Raghu to have him punished with hundred lashes!
***
Baldev rushed to the spot where the people of the village were punishing Raghu. As soon he went, he was caught by the villagers and was beaten black and blue. Men are angry all the time. No one had ever known the reason for their anger! Men just want to take out their anger all the time, on someone. May it be their women- or other men. They would not listen to one word of what Baldev said. Finally, when he was asked about the jewels, he replied to them that knew of no jewels. They asked then how come he got the money to get the goat, from Dainikpur. His obsession with the “Goats from Dainikpur” was a well-known fact. He replied that it was Maa Bhavaani who gave him the money. It angered the crowd, even more.
The villagers would not believe him and started abusing and beating him. Baldev told everyone- amidst all the hue and cry- that the previous day the temple door was not locked. So he was just about to enter into the temple to see what happened, he saw a few people coming in a bullock cart, from the next village. They seemed to be rich people and they were taking a pregnant lady, who was about to deliver, to the town nearby. May be Maa Bhavaani had hidden one’s happiness in others' suffering! Gods always worked in a strange manner. Suddenly, their wheel got stuck and he helped them to get the wheel out of the pit. The good man in the cart gave him a golden chain as a token of gratitude. And that was how he had got money to buy the goat.
***
Truth, to them, the villagers- indeed, was stranger than fiction! They kept beating him and Raghu. Suddenly, a group of people arrived catching hold of the temple priest. The priest had a bundle, which turned out to be the missing jewels from the temple. And he was caught when he tried to leave the village with the jewels. The priest, who had seen Baldev lurking near the temple, confessed in front of the villagers, that he felt it was a perfect plot to put the blame on him- which would give him enough time to escape from the village. Finally, Baldev and Raghu were released. They would bear forever now, the pain of innocence, punished.
***
Raghu who had suffered maximum due to the lashing, could not bear this pain. His pain grew each day. He was bed-ridden and Baldev had no money to save his son. The man, though he may be, but Raghu- was still, a child!
***
Baldev performed the funeral rights of Raghu, five days after that day. The goat from Dainikpur, was hanging on display at the Bismil Butcher’s butchery.
