Sunday, June 1, 2008

ICE AND THE TRAIN

The crowd. It seems to move so fast. I wish I knew why. Neither they stop, nor do they pause. They keep walking without a goal- or so it seems to me!

The taste of the ice can do wonders. It had changed the way I usually thought about things. Or is it because, I just feel so happy today? I was going out with my mom after such a long time!

Granny never lets me go anywhere. Nor would she get me ice candy. “What if you fall ill”? She says. I don’t like it at the Granny’s. Wish mom would take me along with her, this time, at least!

Mom is so pretty. Today, in particular. A white and green saree. Smiling at me always and holding my hand.

We moved fast. We ran. If not, we would miss the train. Fast, fast and finally, into the Ladies’ compartment!

I heave a sigh of relief. I lick my ice candy. So pleasant it tasted after that run! I turned to look at mom.

I find a woman wearing a white and green saree. But she wasn’t my mom. I turn around. Right, left, everywhere. There was crowd, but no mom. The ice was melting.

The ice froze in my heart. It was not pleasant anymore. It brought water in my eyes. I couldn’t see properly. I was crying- “Mom… mom..”! Only, no words ever came out. The last bit of ice, which stuck on to the stick, fell down.

The crowd would not care if I was lost. They would neither stop, nor would they pause. More water from my eyes. It kept flowing down. It made me go red- both on the inside and the outside. The ice on the floor had turned into water.

“Bharath”! I heard someone shout. I turned around. Mom was running towards me. She was crying too. The ice had left my heart. I was holding my mom. And, she lifted me off the ground. We were both crying. No, she was laughing, too. And I laughed with her.

I was clutching the ice candy. I was licking it. My lips were red. As soon as the door was opened, I rushed in and hugged Granny. She was smiling. She bent down and kissed me. She asked, “Had fun with mom”? I said, I did and smiled. Mom saw me smiling. She smiled back. I was happy.

84 comments:

Piyush said...

Your writing reminds me of a terrible recurrent childhood dream, wherein i almost found myself left all alone. and then all of a sudden when i ll get up from the dream, would be pacified to discover the realty.

good writing
best

scrappy Doo said...

beautifully dun...if only m allowed to suggest-i think there are two aspects to writing, content and usage of words...the content is really impressive!! i think if u can work on the usage of words you would make a complete writer one day...keep on writing..

C R D said...

for a while i thought u were decribing how kids gets kidnapped by ppl offering them candies and icecreams.

nic post. we take things we have, and ppl in our lives for granted

Matangi Mawley said...

@piyush..

infact the post is indeed based on a personal experience! :)

cheers!

Matangi Mawley said...

@scrappy doo..

thnk u so much! shall work on it!

Matangi Mawley said...

@crd..

true! thnk u!

my inner world said...

u described it just too well, exactly how the children feel when they get lost ,specially using word like " the ice froze in my heart" were really touchy.

look forward for such good ones frm u:)

siddhu said...

Nice post-most of us would hav had such experiences... & not to forget your style of narration-it simply mesmerized me..

Prachi said...

that is such a sweet story. nicely written, so pleasnt, simple yet so expressive...

loved it.

cheers.

vidhya said...

Very well narrated... Keep going dear :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@my inner world..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@siddhu..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@prachi..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@vidhya..

thnk u!

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

it brings to words a dream i used to dream many years back & correctly justifies how lonely we would be without those whom we love

Matangi Mawley said...

@i ll try to be truthful..

thnk s 4 droppin by!

phoenix said...

beautiful...trul well written... :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@phoenix..

thnk u!

vanilla sky said...

loved the narration and simplicity in the flow of words

well written!

Matangi Mawley said...

@vanilla sky..

thnk u!

*~*Sameera*~* said...

That was lovely!

Nice blog you have here :)

Mahalingesh said...

nice blog....

L

Girish Mahadevan said...

Poem guy!!..good that it matches both of us...;-)
Oh boy!!! ur posts are so emotionally driven...gurl take a chill pill and move on with something other than emotion...but I really got drowned in those posts...gud wrk

a new philosopher is born said...

very cutely written..

flyingstars said...

lovely reading this piece...you have narrated the emotions beautifully...nice writing!

rampantheart said...

How clean and simple!You are an amazing writer!
Matangi, i can't say i have tagged you but would like you to spread the central message in my latest post!

Matangi Mawley said...

@sameera..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@mahalingesh..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@girish..

oh thnk u! bt i prefer emotions.. at least in words..coz i cant be emotional normally..

Matangi Mawley said...

@a new philosopher..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@kalyan..

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@rampantheart..

thnk u! ok.. ll chk tht out 1st..

rohit said...

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

you are fantastic!!!

a kiss for you, my dear friend!

god bless u dear

can we exchange our link

r u ready to do?

rohit said...

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

you are fantastic!!!

a kiss for you, my dear friend!

god bless u dear

can we exchange our link

r u ready to do?

Kartz said...

Hmmm... I dont think I faced any situation like that... But ice candies! Was never allowed to try one. :( But I have tries the frost-stick ones... :)

Frankly, My mind was on what happened to the ice candy... ;) Neatly written. Get the kid another ice candy if you write a part two for this piece!

Cheers!

Matangi Mawley said...

@kartz..

thnk u! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@rohit..

thnk u!

Raphael said...

lovely. childlike writing to suit the kid.
how come i didnt cme across u earlier??
HOW come?

lols!
cheers and kp in touch!

Matangi Mawley said...

@raphael..

thnk u!

feardbond said...

You seem to have an excellent way of narrating things....i wonder how u get all those situations...putting them into words is a different matter all together...hats off!!!!

Nithya (நித்யா) said...

Very nice story. brought out the mindset of a kid and the way he would think !


kudos!

Matangi Mawley said...

@fearbond..

gettin situations is difficult indeed.. for stories to b good, they should b half fiction n half non fiction.. this story is based on one such personal experience..

Matangi Mawley said...

@nithya..

thnk u!:)

MAN IN PAINTING said...

BBEEAAUUTTIIFFUULL...
That was simple yet very effective.
Always magic lies in the welding of the opposites.And always the secret of art is simple..keep people guessing and give them something different.
Wishes....

feardbond said...

Ya...that's pretty much true i guess..but fiction or non fiction,the thing is they must be told properly...rite???

Matangi Mawley said...

@man in the painting..

true.. art lies in concealing art.. they say! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@fearbond..

thts right! the proportion of the fiction and non-fiction must be appropriate.. such tht they blend well.. the transition from fiction to non-fiction and vice-versa should not be abrupt.. they must glide and fuse into one another.. i ve learnt tht recently!

Sandeep Balan said...

wow...short stories...i luv this genre!! gud work!!

Matangi Mawley said...

@sandeep..

thnk u!

Pranay said...

the innocence of a child's heart was evident in your writing.. very well written and expressed..

Matangi Mawley said...

@pranay..

thnk u!

Crimson Feet said...

i could say many nice things to express how wonderful this story was, but i have seen so many curt, to the point, and identical "thnk u!"s on your post that i only feel like saying -

Gud story! :)

PS.
one can see that you may not be as emotional in real life!
see u around!

CF

priyaa iyer said...

good

munazz said...

i liked the simplicity... short stories shud be simple n subtle..nice work

Matangi Mawley said...

@cf..

well.. well.. i like tht..! why? i d hav done the same thing had i seen sme thing similar to wht i ve done over here..
k.. i jst felt tht a genuine "thnk u" would say everything i wished to say.. had i nt been genuine in thnkin ppl who comment over here.. i neednt evn bother to reply each n every 1.. no offence taken n meant.. bt jst stressin over my pt. of view here! :)

so..

dear cf,

thnk u!

Matangi Mawley said...

@cf..

n yes.. u ve noted well.. m nt very emotional. why? i dont believe in showin out emotions. coz they r very powerful. so, they musnt b used often. for whn used, we wont b able to predict it s effect over the ppl around us.. bt sometimes, i feel so saturatd, tht i need an outlet to all the stacked emotions. thts whn i write..

Matangi Mawley said...

@priya..

thnk u! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@munazz..

thnk u!

Crimson Feet said...

you are welcome! :)
and i understand what you said!

feardbond said...

good...continue ur good work...

Matangi Mawley said...

@cf..

tnx!

Matangi Mawley said...

@fearbond..

sure.. tnx..

RicochetRabbit said...

hey, really nice read....

brings out the emotions of a young child, and his true feelings about his granny, his sweet ice cream n his beloved mummy... :)

keep writing...
will blog roll u. . .

Matangi Mawley said...

@ricochetrabbit..

thnk u!

manisha said...

xelent narration...reminds me of d day i got lost wen i ws wid my parents ...on a trip...tuk thm 3 hrs to find me...i dnt knw hw i felt at dat ym...cos i wws small...bt i kw ..i wud hv felt miserable...n for my parents...it wud hv been heart-in-mouth stin...

Matangi Mawley said...

@manisha..

true! i d just tried to recollect n recreate the situation whn i d got lost!

nefariousoutlook said...

it was a brilliant post !! simple but very powerful :)

keep posting :)

& thank you for dropping by .,,:)

Matangi Mawley said...

@nefariousoutlook..

thnk u!

Rashi V said...

TO be lost in the big bad world!!!

Scary!! Especially for a child.
Loved the way you wrote..Conveyed the fear!

suramya said...

for a minute I gt scared there wouldn't be a happy ending :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@suramya..

:) quite possible.. very few of the stories tht i write end up on a positive note!

Matangi Mawley said...

@rashi..

thnk u!

arjun said...

Wow..Again a nice post but more so very well written....
Had a 'feel good' factor in it..
Well wat else can i say..u already have a huge tower of comments where they've said it all...
Keep Writing Keep Writing..

Cheers..!!
Arjun

Matangi Mawley said...

@arjun..

thnk u! :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

nice flow.. I almost wanted to stop reading when I realised Bharat was lost, but I am glad I read it to the end...

really gripping read

manorath said...

well.. i interpretted it as a metaphor on life.. simple yet effective..

Matangi Mawley said...

@beauty n the beast..

ya.. evn i was prayin tht he should get lost.. i usually tend to end my stories on a sad note..

Matangi Mawley said...

@manorath..

thnk u!

Abhishek Ghosh said...

Have gone thru the situation....This gr888 piece of writing did remind me of my childhood days....

good one dear..

Matangi Mawley said...

@abhishek..

thnkx! :)

Indrajit said...

a good one ot read ..:) :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@indrjit..

thnk u!

ishqia said...

ur stories are cute.. such incident often happens.. ur have expressed it beautifully.

Matangi Mawley said...

@ishiqa..

thnx! :)
its indeed my personal experience!

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