Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Today, I heard something about a friend of mine. This was not something I would have wanted to hear about a friend after almost 4 years of no news about her.

Padma was in my class in my 9th and 10th std. She had a very good handwriting. She sang very well. She danced Bharatnatyam with such grace! She went to a different school for 11th and 12th std. and studied commerce later. After almost three years, I found out that she joined a BPO in Chennai and got married to a guy working in Software Company in Chennai. That was the last I heard of her.

Today, I found out from a common friend that she had given birth to a baby girl recently. I was so happy for her, until I found out that, she was blamed by her in-laws for giving birth to a ‘girl’ child and was sent out of her home! She is not being allowed to meet her husband and neither was this husband of hers doing anything in this matter.

I do not know what is happening to her now, as I don’t have her contact details. But this has been worrying me since the moment I had heard about it.

I feel like confronting her in-laws and her husband this very minute and slap them hard in front of everyone. Her mother-in-law too is a woman and why the hell was her mother not punished for giving birth to her? I always used to think that this was an issue in the rural areas in India- Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Jharkhand, or Rajasthan. But here? In town? Among the educated? And to think that the guy did B.Tech! Wouldn’t he have the sense to correct his mother or father? Wouldn’t he know that giving birth to a boy or girl is not in anyone’s hand? ‘XX’ or ‘XY’ is a process of science! And there is no person in this world who does not get “Fooled by Randomness”.

I am disgusted.

Whatever is the purpose of having so many Acts for women? Domestic Violence, Sexual Harassment, Trafficking and what not? Celebrating an International Day for women? What purpose do they serve? They are all one big farce! Practically speaking, I have no reason to believe that they have any chance of proving their effectiveness unless the society wakes up to them. This is a social issue. If such an issue is happening somewhere around you, it is your duty to put a stop to it.

Will there not be at least half a dozen reasonable and respectable people living in the same street? Can they not one day visit the house and try to drill some sense into these idiots. I feel that that’s the only practical thing to do. Legal action must be the last resort as it would take 20 years or more and the affected people rarely get justice.

I hope Padma gets this support from her society. Meanwhile, friends of mine who are in touch with her, if you’re reading this, please let me know her details, if you know...


A said...

That is so stupid. Her husband being a Software guy does not know that sex of baby is decided based on Men and not egg....That is so stupid.....Her husband did not give a strong Y chromosome.

Suchi said...

Stories like this hit hard, because you always think things like this happen to someone else. The truth is it doesn't - we are all part of the same social fabric. It is heart rendering to hear that something like this happens, in educated circles, in this day and age :(

Suchi said...

@A - Just fyi...there is no such thing as a 'strong' 'Y' chromosome. :-) Just 'X' and 'Y' is binary. But you are right...the male's chromosome factor decides the baby's sex.

Bikramjit said...

typical indian mentality .. blame the woman for the birth.. what about the husband who it belong tooo

I hope good sense prevails


Bhargavi said...

This is appalling ,really that people still hold on to such stupid ideas..

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

Gadhe hai sab ke sab!!!!

in one way its good that she doesn't live with those hypocrites anymore .. and neither should she go back to them..

Raphael said...

That's so dumb. Is this even happening in this century, this age?

Don't those brainless idiots know that the sex of a child is decided from the father's side and not the mother's?

Divorce that punk. He's not worth your time and even worth a breath of yours Padma. File a case against him too if possible for unjust treatment.

Anonymous said...

It's sad but such is life.
And it shows the ugliest of faces were you least expect it.
Give your friend strength and help her get empowered to face what lies ahead with a brave front.

Came here after a long time to wish you a happy new year. I am appalled reading this.
Hope the coming year brings new hope and strength to you, your friend and loved ones.

Take care,

rauf said...

A mother herself wants a son, educated or illiterate, no difference. Thank goodness there was no female infanticide in this case. Women get a raw deal in all societies, east or west, of all religions. Education is of no help. Demand or desire for a male child often comes from women. They all are aware that women are not responsible for the sex of the child, yet women are blamed and victimised. This has been going on for thousands of years, i hope for no change. We have to live with it, which is sad. Recently a friend of mine called to inform the birth of her second child which was a girl again. There was a sad tone in her voice.