Tuesday, July 6, 2010

SMILE

(A tale of an unknown traveller...)

Frozen water, land and sky
Frozen words, truth and lie
Frozen thoughts; frozen pain
Frozen self that heaves a sigh

He waited and waited for her to come. But there was no one coming to him. There was, but her smile, that had stayed back in his memory- and so, he prayed- that she come. "Take away your smile- for it makes my heart weak"- he prays. But there was no one coming- not today, not ever; claiming the smile, so heavy. And still, he prayed, drenched in thoughts- lying on his past, that had frozen over his future.
***
It was Christmas eve- last year…
***
Parties were always fun. And Christmas parties at Vicky’s place- it is just the place you ought to be on a holiday! Keshav walked along those lanes, thinking about the night’s part. And tomorrow, it would be Christmas! There was no one on the road, but him. And suddenly, Keshav realized that there was someone else too. Right ahead, lying on the road, unconscious. He ran towards that someone. It was a girl. He saw her bag beside and found her ID. Sarah George.

Cold is the heartthat knows not love
Cold is the skinthat shan’t feel the love
Cold are those thoughts that hath no love- but
Colder is that mindthat tries to forget the loved…

There he wandered as though he owned the land. Neither here, nor there- but where, knew only his legs. Dark alleys ahead, were wide, wet and vast. Though not as dark as a heart, bleeding for love. He knew those lanes, he knew its darkness- for they had lit his lamp of love. And deep in his heart, that lamp struggled to glow- thus, showing him the way, though those long lost roads.
***
This summer…
***
It was Sarah’s birthday. Keshav and Sarah had planned to spend it together. They got all that they needed for a picnic. The view was fabulous from the top of the hill. It had taken them hours to reach that place. But it had been worth all the travel. Sarah just loved the place. She admitted to Keshav that it was the best birthday of her life and she said that they should come there more often. Keshav was thrilled. He was only hoping to make her happy. But as soon as he found that place, he knew that it was perfect! Sarah would never have another birthday as this one!

Icy winds and frosty breeze
Numbed the body, hand and feet- while
Iced tears on the heart’s crease
Pierced the flesh and its frozen meat…

He cursed his fate and damned his life. Walking aimlessly in the dark- he soon saw a church, ahead. He opened the doors and joined the others- who prayed for they loved to live. Had he reached the right place? He wondered! For there, they worshipped the cause for his pain. That cause that had failed to protect a believer! No- he should not be there, he thought. But his legs could go no farther- and so, he had to stay.
***
Two weeks back…
***
Keshav was throwing a party. Sarah was suppose to be there too. But she had not reached yet. She was running late. Very late. Everyone had been asking for her. She should have been there. It was their party. Their engagement party. Keshav was worried. He had been trying her number for long time. There was no response. He called her home…

Light, Light, Light was there
Melting cold, in and off air
The cold was moist and now over eyes
May be it’s true, that He never plays dice!

The prayer he heard was for him. No names. He was anonymous! He sat there, seeing the believers pray. A strange warmth of hope, creeping in his insides. There was hope. He heard them pray. There sure was! He lifted his head to see His face. His smile. His smile was hers. He was her- He was in her. She would be fine with Him- he heard them sing.
***
And this Christmas…
***
How long he stayed there, Keshav never knew. She was safe. He felt that. She was happy. He knew that. He left the church- still singing those prayers in his mind- for her- still seeing Him smile, her smile, in his mind. He would be happy! Her smile was his now and would always be. He would be happy… He knew, he would be happy…

16 comments:

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

beautiful, lucid and, though broken, still continuous.


Regards
Blasphemous Aesthete

Joker said...

Super ka... I don't know, how many will understand the only difference of capital and small letters... Great... Great...

Anonymous said...

very well written

Matangi Mawley said...

@anonymous someone...

:) thanks!

Matangi Mawley said...

@ joker...

thanks a ton!! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@ the wall...

thanks!

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

I can't even fathom your depth as a human,when you wrote this. :)

Its something very difficult to juxtapose the past with the present, and you've even inserted these beautiful poetic lines :)

I just got one question. When are you publishing? Seriously...

Matangi Mawley said...

@i ll try to be truthful...

:) hope i do publish someday! thanks a ton!!

bibhuthegyaanguru said...

Hmm...Matangi...Quite interesting yaar..Give me some tips too ....

Azra Raphael said...

beautiful. poignant. sad. lovely. i want to use all the lovely words in my vocab on ur post! it was so bittersweet mat! loved it, loved it!

rainboy said...

lovely ...so much pain and so much hope.

take care

Matangi Mawley said...

@bibhithehyaanguru...

thanks! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@raphael...

thanks! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

@rainboy..

thanks!

Chandramouli G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chandramouli G said...

Brilliant. Strong words, icy and warm, painful and soothing.

I was not sure if I understood this line right:

'And deep in his heart, that lamp struggled to glow- thus, showing him the way, though those long lost roads'

Should it have been through those long lost roads? If not I am not sure if I understood this line right.

- Chandramouli