HOLY CRAP

Why do we do what we do,
Why do we need to do it?
What should be done and what not,
And who should be made to do it?
Not all questions have answers,
Neither do all answers have questions
Not all people ask questions-
Yet I never cease to ask them,
That is all I do,
That is all I do...

ENCASED...

Caged, yet hopeful
He fluttered around the walls
crying and calling out for help.
He was pitied, he was cared for-
Yet no hand would break him free;
still, with hope, he carried on-
"Not today, perhaps.."
The day dawned-
The walls were broken
And the cage, blasted to dust and smoke-
He fluttered on,
Around imaginary boundaries;
crying and calling out-
"Help me fly away..anyone..."

VEIL

Soft muslin, light and tender
The breeze playing with it
Hides the rosy lips and dimple chin
And the emotions that lie within.
Days roll on, years pass by-
There's no muslin and no breeze;
Yet, it's those rosy lips and dimple chin
That hide emotions, deep within!

WHERE IS BEAUTY?

Beauty lies-
In those hands- tiny, yet strong;
wailing and crying out for help
wrapped in those dirty pieces of cloth-
left out to rot inside trash
with vegetable and faecal matter-
In those hands- in that cry.

Beauty lies-
In those eyes, shrunk due to tears;
clothes- that hid almost nothing
hands that tried to hide bruises
vaccant eyes, lost in search of help
A body that failed to work
In those eyes- in those tears.

Beauty lies-
In those silver hairs, soft and dry;
wrinkles that ornamented the skin
eyes that tried to recognise things
And awaited the moment of eternal peace;
cherishing her breath till her last inhalation-
In her thoughts- in her pain.

THE BIG DECISION

Everyone, for once in their life has to make one decision, from which there is no escape! That is, about their future. About what they wish to become; how one is going to carry on...And everybody makes that one decision, for sure.Even that person, who says, that he has left his future to "God's goodwill", has made that decision, hasn't he?

Well, this essay, is not about any decision-making techniques. Nor is it about my great plans for my future. This essay is about my experience in making that decision, rather.

Mind you, I am not a "responsible" type of a girl. I never cared about anything, not that I do now! But definitely, I'm now, loads better than what I was, before!

Well, into bussiness. One day, ... I don't remember exactly what day..or when I did it! "One day" simply seemed a perfect beginning for my next sentense. Fine. One day, may be, my head was working in the right way.. I just decided, that I got to decide something about my future!

I was thinking, "Ok, this is it. I got to decide what I have to become now. Now that I know, what I am capable of ... I should know". And then, a feeble voice, inside me, spoke to me; "YOU..make a "decision".. don't make me laugh..". I ask, " Now, who is this"? "I am YOU". " YOU are me? Then who am I"? The voice spoke again, "Good beggining, isn't it"? "Oh no! Now don't make me think THAT way..You know..THAT way"! "What way"? " THAT way...Who am I? Why am i sent here..? By whom..? How things began..? How will it end..? As if I care.."! The voice spoke again, "Stop..Stop..Now do you understand, why I was mocked by the idea that "YOU", of all persons, make a "decision".. ? "No"! "Well, you are a dreamer, aren't you?You dream a lot, and yet, you don't wake up. You dream of achieving the top and yet you remain low, and don't even try to reach it, even when you are shown a way to do it. Even if you try, you get too tired, and a bit lazy, if truth be told, and finally, you stop trying..melt away..and yet again.. you dream of trying..don't you"?

Now that was true an I couldn't argue with that.. That day, I did not make my decision. Nor did I, the next day.. nor the next... never after that...

I was not made for thinking... I was made for dreaming. I would dream, indeed, if that is what I am made for..And I would pass it on to others... That's what I realized from that little incident...

But I still could not figure out what I must do as a dreamer... I, who dream, must dream of a way, how not to dream.. or rather... dream of waking up...!?

Well...!

BEYOND ACADEMICS...

...And he speaks on and on. I think it was Physics.. coz everything is, but about physics!

It was the first hour. I liked it, my classroom..especially, my place. I usually sit near the window( ofcourse, if my bench mates allow me to..that is to say, when they are in good mood or when they do not have other work to do..). It keeps me connected with the "Earth". "Now where was I"?

So, this "sir" was explaining something that firmly refused to enter into my brain. And so, on that day, I was virtually "out-of-bussiness"!

I was looking out, through the window..It looked like, as if someone had decorated the earth with green velvet carpets. The weather was just fine for someone with a creative mind.

I was walking through those fields..The grasses were tall and young dew drops were sticking on to them, as if they seeked their protection against some evil force! Chill breeze, brushed my hair, as it walked past me.. I smiled.. The clear sky, neither blue, nor gray, sang a melifluous tune to accompany the cry of birds...

....."You! Third bench, last girl...Stand Up"!

I KNOW NOT TO SWIM

[Flow of concious! Wrote it in an exam hall!]


Chill tides of liquid
sweep through my feet
the cold winds cooling it more
splash mockery at me
stubborn with force
under compulsion
I leap- no
I plunge so deep..
So deep into their hands-
with the gravity pulling me down
And the waters slashing me like swords
I endure-
Into those deep worls unknown-
Bizziare symbols and signs
Walk past my eyes
without entering my mind
The cry of a bell!
Awoke me with with a start!
"Oh no! I got two more pages to fill"!
I scribble a few symbols
On those pages-fresh and white
The colour of peace
Drenched in ink
I finally let it slip
Off my hands
Into those hands unknown-
Peace at last..
I realize; finally-
Oh! I know not to swim!